Soapbox Derby*: Meet Boo

Genesis 3:11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"



[Warning: Strong language. May not be suitable for the faint of heart.]

"I ain't no fag. I'll fuck you. And you can suck my dick. But ain't no man fuckin' me. It's like a bitch. I can fuck her, and she can suck my dick, but a bitch can't fuck me."

The DL Chronicles is a series of stories that surround what has come to be known as the down-low "phenomenon": men of color who have sex with men, usually under the cover of a marriage or long-term heterosexual relationship.

This down-low phenomenon has been sensationalized as "the reason so many black women are contracting HIV/AIDS," and the suggestion that a man isn't on the down-low unless he's married and having sex with another man. I had never really focused on this phenomenon, though it has been kinda rampant in the church. But being able to sit down with some friends and watch some of these stories really began to open my eyes to the truth of the down-low, and what it really is.I say "began," of course, because 2 hours of television couldn't possibly educate me totally about a societal situation that's been going on for years and impacting billions of people. Anyway, I ended up watching three episodes of the first season: Boo, Robert, and Mark.

The definition of "down-low" will vary from person to person, and it usually depends on what you have to hide. For example: Robert is a homosexual man who tried to get married to be "cured" of his homosexuality. It didn't work, his marriage ended, and he had been hiding his sexuality from his daughter well into her twenties for fear of her losing respect for her father figure. Mark has been with his man for three years, and they have been living together, but posing as heterosexual roommates. And Boo is an uberthugish figure who seems to detach his sex life from his reality, though his sex life is really the only reality we see on the show. Boo's mother just assumes: "you just sleep with everything that set down to pee." And though his level of activity is a cause for concern, along with his dangerous sex habits--no condom--we learn that Boo is hiding a lot from a lot of people.

What'll be important for you to see here is that the DL really comes down to one word: deception. Whether it's under cover of an ubermasculine stereotype, a muscular facade, a "normal" family life, a spiritual life, or a wedding ring, the fact remains that these are all covers at the end of the day.

But how real can the DL phenomenon be? I mean, maybe it was a certain way for other folks, but when each episode was over, I didn't feel like I could go outside and walk right into what I had just seen. I didn't think I'd go see Boo sitting out on the block with a bunch of thugs, one of which he would see every so often under the cover of night. I didn't think I'd see Mark and his roommate sitting closely on the couch, about to kiss, but playing it off when a neighbor passed by an open window. I didn't think I'd see Robert trying to cover his tracks with Austin, his lover, in front of his daughter. And why should I expect to see it? I mean, the DL Chronicles delves deep into the bedrooms of homosexual and heterosexual couples, exposing what most daytime shows just assume will go on behind a closed door after a date.

However, there is still the closed door. I wouldn't go out and see an ubermasculine facade that tries to convince itself that he is not gay. I could, however, go out and see an ubermasculine stereotype. I could expect to see a normal family life. I could see men and women sitting together in churches day after day after day. And I could expect to see a couple with a wedding ring. And the sad part is, the DL is just as real as the situations that cover them up and shield them from view. Under that lie I am telling you is the truth, and a truth that can be even more dangerous and threatening than the lie I used to cover it up.

With that, I contend that the DL goes beyond sex. Why? Because deception goes beyond sex. There are many things I could be deceiving you about right now. I could be deceiving you that I truly love the Lord; I could be deceiving you that any of the stuff I talk about on this blog matters to me or to you, and I could be deceiving you that I'm straight. And if you wonder why any of that info would matter, then you're way ahead of the game.

On the other hand, as I said before, even though there are people who believe that the DL only occurs among married men, the truth of the matter is that many of these folks have way more than a marriage at stake in their lives. For some folks, they feel like they have to choose between homosexuality and a job, respect, love, acceptance, and for many, God. I remember Boo's mother watching "all these gay people on TV." I couldn't help but chuckle when she said "the world has gotten so corrupt. But when Jesus come back, they all gone have to give an account..." And I laughed because I didn't know what else to do.

It's a cultural thing. And all the covers I've mentioned to you today are cultural. By decision of culture, it appears, a man has to be emotionless and cold, to the point where he's about to burst from trapped stress. By decision of culture, a woman has to be so submissive that she cannot think for herself. After all, there are only a few things you can do with a "bitch." By decision of culture, people have taken advantage of ageism, assuming that wisdom comes with age, even to the most ignorant old bag that decided long before reaching old age that they had achieved the pinnacle of wisdom that could ever be achieved by man. By decision of culture, sticks are sexy. By decision of culture, the word "f*ck" isn't as powerful as the word "fuck".

And by decision of culture, all that has been deemed unacceptable by "our" culture must hide itself from the rest of the world to avoid persecution based on issues ranging from sexuality, to body image, to race, to creed, to gender...

...to the very nakedness that started our humanity in Genesis 1.

I'm not going to blame a specific culture, because the many cultures that shape Western Society (the only society I have liberty to speak on) have intertwined to become what we call Western culture today. However, know that your culture--whatever it is--has played a part.

Black culture is just as guilty as White culture.
Heathen culture is just as guilty as Church culture.
Generation X's culture is just as guilty as the previous Generation's culture.
They have all played a part.

And like a potter, we have tried to shape culture into the perfect representation of what a society should be--a utopia, if you will. Of course, with pretty much everything that falls into human hands, culture has become an outright disaster.

And now, the very people who were given "dominion over the earth," and the very people to whom it was given to shape their own culture through the guidance of God, now must cower in fear of it.

And so we hide.

And so we deceive.

This, my brothers and sisters, is the down-low. In all its glory. Strip away the culture, strip away the notion of the "marital bed," the notion of "cover your shame," and what you are left with is a subculture of human beings that have been made the Esau to our Jacob, the servant to his brother culture...the "background to my foreground," as Bernie (Angela Bassett, Waiting to Exale) once put it. We suffer through cultural ranking; who's better than who. We struggle to make our own culture and to reforge our way of life, so that we will not be second to someone else. We run to America from Britain in search of "religious freedom." We focus our energy into making this country the land of opportunity--unless you're a Mexican or a nigger, then we don't want your sorry asses here. We pass all sorts of laws that we say come from Bible principles, and others of us try to pass laws that aren't based on Bible principles, sometimes in an effort to remind the world that this country will never agree that it is one nation under any sort of god. We try to redefine our thinking to be hip to the next big philosophy. We push the envelope. All in a cultural battle to be accepted and respected by our peers.

And the sad part is, in the scheme of things, and more importantly, in the eyes of God,

None of this matters.

So, what are you hiding from now?

*The other day I was talking to Chase about a situation I had intended to blog about. I'm not going to tell you what the situation was, because it'll ruin the blog when I finally decide to post it. Anyway, after I had vented about the situation for a while, his response was:
"Why don't you write a letter, Mr Passionate?
And while you're at it, you can send them the soapbox you're standing on so that they know you mean business."

And while it was a cute joke at the time, I realized that some of the entries I do on this blog will be complete soapbox entries. I mean, I intend to share my opinion pretty much all the time, but sometimes, like in the entry you just read, it'll be nothing but soapbox. I don't think it makes the entries any less legitimate.

I figure you guys could figure out what I meant by "soapbox derby" as time went along, but I thought the comment was funny at the time. So there you go. Full explanation.