Time to rebuild from the foundation.

I do exist. I do.

I'll be back in May.

With some new tricks, to boot. See you then!

New Beginning

So I'm sure you've noticed you haven't heard from me for a while.

Or you may not have. It's all good. Lol.

Basically, things are changing. And in that vein, I'm erasing 90% of the content of this page and starting over soon.

It's what happens when you learn, right?

Anyway, the page will be run a bit differently; I'll be keeping up with it much better, and you'll be ministered to in ways you never thought you could be reached.

Nowwatchmedoit!

Brandon Elliot Smith

I survived.

I've been ghost--obviously--but things are starting to look up for me again. Check this guy out. Brandon Elliot Smith. Amazing on keys, heck of a voice. "I Survived" is one of the best songs I've heard from him, and it's getting radio play. Maybe it's worth calling in...who knows? It's definitely worth listening to.

Brandon Elliot Smith

By the way, because of a certain young lady...it's the time of my life right now lol.

Happy New Year!

I'm obviously not the most prolific of bloggers anymore, but hey. Quality over quantity, right? Lol.

Happy New Year.
No resolutions. I live life as a continuum, and I've learned to deposit my own pauses throughout so I can keep my sanity.

The Choir's still going strong. Their anniversary is coming up in a few weeks. It's gonna be less about us and more about the people who come in.

Back in school.

Sunday's Best is having auditions.

I'll be posting more music and art stuff as I see fit and have time.

More to come...

Thanks, Tim!

This came in the mail Saturday in response to the interview seen below. Made my weekend.



Free music? You serious? Hell yea! Lol.

Doesn't stop here, folks. You need this album in your life.

"Authentic art does not compete."

Ebay: Divine Inspiration

Interview with Tim Dillinger

Today, December 8th, 2008 marks the release of Tim Dillinger's first book, Snapshots: a collection of journal entries, epistles, and other prosaic introspections.

I was able to chat with him about the book on Yahoo IM (endorsements, please--no, really), and the majority of the interview appears unamended here. Tim's book can be purchased in download and print versions at http://www.lulu.com/timdillinger. You could also take the scenic route and go to Tim Dillinger's site; there's a link there that will take you to the book purchase site.

Snapshots is, as the title suggests, a collection of short prose stories, some song lyrics, journal entries, and other lexical arrangements that show the spirit of Tim Dillinger. [Bolding and emphasis below is added by the editor.]

RevKris: ok, so my first question will be for those who may drop by the blog who have never heard of Tim Dillinger, the artist, the writer, the anamolic white boy with some crazy soul
RK: so could you fill them in quickly as to how you see yourself, who you are as an artist, as a person, or whatever you'd like to disclose

Tim Dillinger: i think the easiest way to describe myself is to say that i'm a seeker. i despise boxes and have sought throughout my life and my short career thus far to question the boxes that we put on ourselves and try to place over others. for me, that has meant exploring quite a bit of terrain: asking questions regarding religion, race, sexuality, musicality and culture. In the big picture, my seeking has required that i attempt to find, in embracing individuality, our commonalities.

RK: commonalities in what way?

TD: well, that's where the can of worms opens up. in my mind, the greatest commonality that we have is that we come from the same place. we are spirit. we all have the same creator, regardless of the name that we give him/her. to me, if we can embrace that general premise, the premise that we were/are created in the image of god, then we should be able to agree to disagree about theology, philosophy...the details of our faith.

RK: and faith is one of the first things I noticed that you confronted in "Snapshots"
RK: if I may ask, what was your direction with this book?

TD: originally, i conceived it to be a collection of essays and poetry. the process began and it just didn't feel like a fit to me, as i originally wanted it to be far more essay driven. then i began re-reading my blog entries and journal entries from the past two years and realized that those entries, blended with my poetry, told more of the story i was interested in sharing. so, i began printing them out and kept the essays i felt were most vital (about reba rambo and teena marie, respectively) and began "collaging" the pieces to find their flow.
TD: i was most interested in sharing my journey to find an "integrated " life: something that merges the worlds of spirituality, sexuality, culture and artistry with some sort of balance.

RK: I see
RK: now your journey starts with a very interesting quote...it hit me as soon as I read it
RK: "imagine before you sleep/ dream while you're awake/ sleep to collect the energy to live the dream"
RK: why start here?

TD: well, i wrote that one night while journalling...and i was thinking about how much unconsciousness is encouraged in our culture. we talk about dreams, but never really take action on them. in christianity, people live for an escape (the rapture) and never actualize themselves here in this place. i started consciously dreaming while awake about eight years ago, but what i didn't realize was that i started dreaming while awake all those years ago on the floor listening to reba rambo.
TD: in a sense, i guess you could say, i returned to that child place about eight years ago, where you dream out loud before societal "norms" take that permission away. imagine the things we could accomplish if we never stopped dreaming and consciously living to actualize those dreams...after all, those dreams and visions are all god-given. i've been very blessed to see so many of my dreams already come true....but that has come through not being willing to submit to convention...

RK: well convention typically leads to stagnation and mediocrity, as it's easier to bring everyone down than to raise everyone up
RK: which is why I think it's awesome that you allow your readers to see the world as you did from the very beginning, even if they have the added bonus of the articulation of the idea

TD: well thank you. i was very fortunate to be raised in an era of christian music that is much different than today's christian music. the artists were dreamers and pioneers. there was no genre or real "industry" per se. they were creating the music of their inner most beings because it was what was natural to them. therefore, there was no dogma, no legalism...it was simply a free expression of their individual perspective and experience. reba's work was foundational for me because i would end up dealing with alot of what she wrote about: self-acceptance, the possibility of "i can", and being a child/dreamer in an adult body.
TD: because that music is my first memory, i believe with everything in me that's why i've always seen the world in a very general way from the place that i do now...the difference is i understand more of the details of that perspective now as an adult.

RK: Reba Rambo is one of the first stories you talk about in Snapshots
RK: It's the first actual snapshot
RK: and the story that precedes the picture makes it all the more poignant
RK: what was it like to be standing literally right next to someone who changed your life before you knew it had a direction?

TD: it's an indescribable feeling. it's funny to be a poet and not really have words for what something so monumental feels like. the night that we took the picture in the book was the release of my album, the muse, and i remember sitting right at the stage entrance listening to her and flashing back to being that kid in the living room. it felt completely unreal, yet entirely natural, if that makes any sense at all. perhaps the kind of natural--or real--we spend our lives searching to find...and then when we find it, it feels so real, that it's a little uncomfortable.

RK: a kind of full consciousness?

TD: yes. a remembering of sorts. because i always tell people that i KNEW her before i ever heard her music or met her in person. i've had that experience with a handful of people. i was able to actually put that aspect of it into words this past year with another friend who upon meeting me said "i remember you"...and i remembered him.

RK: I can tell you right now that what you just said is going to throw a lot of people

TD: lol. well, i mean...we have to keep in mind that we are spirit. we have seen it all and been it all before. that's what de ja vus are. simply moments where you "remember". the more work we do to become conscious, they more forefront our spirit can become with our natural bodies.

RK: speaking of spirit
RK: (and by the way, I hope you're enjoying my segways)

TD: (i am...you are brilliant)

[Don't you just love this guy? lol]

RK: There's a picture of you
RK: in which you're standing with a mic in hand in front of a church, to the left of a raised pulpit
RK: you
RK: are standing maybe 10 feet away from the musicians...looking kinda stiff actually (no offense)

TD: lol. yes. lol.

RK: and you talk about--I'm guessing--your first holy ghost encounter?
RK: at least, that's what church folks would call it

TD: yes. the finding spirit essay.
TD: it was another one of those "rememberings". i walked into that church as a teenager and knew that it was home. i remember the feeling as if it happened yesterday and i knew that that place would be intregal to whatever was going to happen next for me. having a place to experience and express what i felt with spirit brought more of "tim" forefront, because there was nothing that i had to hold back. we were a go-for-it, get-loose, get-with-it-right now kind of church...services could go from 11 am to 5 pm when the spirit was high...and being in an environment that didn't just allow free expression in worship, but encouraged it was so freeing to me as a little surpressed kid who felt so much inside.
TD: that experience has made it much more difficult for me to co-exist within the current church structure--even within affirming congregations--because so many churches strive to be the kinds of churches they see on christian television. mega churches. one church i was involved with here in nashville said that he wanted his service to transition like "the david letterman show"...and they wanted to give me 15 minutes to do praise and worship. church, for me, has always been about experience, not showmanship...heck, even my non-gospel show is about experience, not showmanship. i think that again, church has become a corporate experience, and we view the kinds of demonstations i grew up with as embarassing or no longer relevant...and i couldn't disagree more.

RK: so they were basically telling you to think your way through the praise and worship...

TD: they basically wanted a cute, A&B selection: not praise and worship. i had no idea how to do that. i remember they had this huge countdown clock on the wall in the back and they would send someone to hold up their fist if you ignored it. i just kept doing things they way i knew to do them until i was no longer welcome...lol.
TD: praise and worship is something that one must give themselves over to. an intimate experience that serves us the best when we can simply let go...let all of the self-consciousness give way to the rising of spirit within us: which is actually the real us. that realization is why i think pastors seek to so control praise and worship. what would happen if the congregations all began to find their true selves....

RK: the blackberry industry would fall apart completely, because people would start to realize that the best things in life go unplanned by human hand

TD: ah yes.
TD: people have lost connection with their humanity. it's why customer service suffers. it's why people can say such cruel things on the internet. it's the reason people can so easily brush off world events. we forget that we are one collective body...not individual entities with keyboard glued to our hands.

RK: very true
RK: now I have a story for you
RK: because I suppose I could call you a sort of experimental artist, with your searching nature and your openness to the move of the spirit
RK: am I close enough?

TD: yes.

RK: ok good
RK: so this past easter service, I was asked to bring and direct one of the songs for the combined choir
RK: typically I have my own on fourth Sunday, but for big services, we put everybody together and have everybody collaborate--more-or-less
RK: anyway, I decided that I was going to challenge the choir, and slam together Kurt Carr's "Psalm 68" with Ton3x's "Alive" and "Alive 2"
RK: the idea in essense felt like it would have worked, but somewhere in between the end of "Psalm 68" and the beginning of "Alive," things just fell apart completely
RK: the sopranos were supposed to hit an acapella melody and it's like all 15 of them were singing different notes

TD: lol.

RK: some weren't ready to come in
RK: things just didn't seem to go the way I expected or wanted it to go
RK: and I have no IDEA what the congregation must have been feeling
RK: to recover, of course, I did what I know, I took the mic and said "the devil's not gonna win in here today," and we did it again and again until we got it right
RK: but I say all that to say that sometimes when you bring a new sound to an audience, unless you're particularly happy with it and can convince your audience that they should like it as much as you do, it can be a little difficult to get it to them
RK: and I say all THAT because I noticed in that same story that the comfort level of your audience began to drop with the newness that you were bringing to them
RK: has that experience affected you as an artist, and if so, how?

TD: well, there was a huge shift when i came out. people thought i was crazy. my last album (the muse) had done very well and i was in pre-production on my gospel album...and it was like it was just too much for many of the people who had been following me. my quest has always been to be honest and, like so many of my heroes, tell my story through the music...i am not one of those glossy artists who reveals nothing...it all hangs out with me...and this year has been the hardest year of my life. this year, i understood what i felt like to want to die. i understood what it felt like to never want to sing again. i understood what it felt like to resent the gift and the call on my life. i am blessed to have great friends and mentors who "held the space" for me when i just wanted to, and was making every attempt to, walk away from it.
TD: But...in that, and as a result of that, my vision was crystallized...my confidence was returned...and actually came back stronger...It's the ying-yang effect. If on one hand there is such a pull for me to walk away...the flip-side would have to be that there is a great purpose that i have yet to accomplish...messengers were sent to remind me of that...from out of no where...helped me center again...
TD: i have always believed that there is a "tribe" of people that i am called to assemble...people that will "find" the work just as i found the work of my favorite artists...it's a huge part of the reason i am relocating to NYC in just a few weeks...being seated in a place that encourages artistry...where there is a larger stream of people...being able to create in a place, much like that holiness church i grew up in, that encourages individual expression.

RK: this "tribe" you mention
RK: is this the "team" the healer asks about in "the icon's pen"?

TD: no. the "team" that the healer was referring to is like my personal assortment of spirit guides who work on my behalf...everyone has one...they just may not be aware of it. the tribe i am referring to is an assortment of people that will gravitate to the work because they find some identification with it. one of my other heroes, laura nyro, always referred to her fan base as a tribe, because her ultimate goal, as is mine, is to create community: a community of true diversity.

RK: I see
RK: and when you do create this community, where would you fall in? or would you?

TD: well, as an artist, i would simply continue creating and hopefully inspiring those within the community to do the same: to find their voice and expression. my shows are always more of a collaborative effort than something with me as a centerpiece. my background singers are more front singers with me than anything remotely behind me. i have always featured other artists within the context of my shows...so...i hope that i can simply help create the space for others to do the same. i've often toyed with the idea of creating a worship center of some sort, but i don't like the hierarchy of the church, so there would have to be something creative in terms of the structure...

RK: that's a whole new discussion on its own

TD: right.

TD: lol

RK: one last thing I want to touch on with your book (I'm trying not to spoil it but there's so much info in here)

TD: lol

RK: actually, let's talk about the shoutouts at the beginning of the book

TD: ok

RK: the first person you actually thank is "Isis"
RK: what was that about?

TD: well, this past year, i discovered my connection with the Isis/Osiris story via a book called "The Passion of Mary Magdalen" by Elizabeth Cunningham, which landed in my hands at precisely the right moment. I was living a piece of the Isis story and until that realization, the heartbreak I was experiencing made no sense to me. So, I referenced that at the beginning of the book because of how pivotol that experience was/is for me.

RK: Understood

RK: so where can people get "Snapshots"?

TD: people can order it at www.lulu.com/timdillinger and there is a link at www.timdillinger.com that will take them there as well. i'm in the process of setting up some book readings as well, so all of that can be tracked on the site...

…Tim Dillinger has also conducted interviews with the likes of Bishop Carlton Pearson and other talented, controversial individuals. More about Tim Dillinger can be found at his blogspot at http://www.outtheboxwithtimdillinger.com and www.timdillinger.com.

[By the way, Tim gave me some compliments on the blog, and I had to include them.]

TD: i really appreciate what you are doing with your blog, etc.
TD: people need the insight...
TD: so at the risk of cliche, be encouraged.

RK: I appreciate it

TD: you are a great writer.

RK: goes with my long-windedness as a preacher

TD: lol. yes and amen. underneath it all, we're all "bards" and that's what we do. we just love words.